even weekends end

[amul]

Roo is packing and it hurts to watch.

Four times this weekend, there was a moment when I could have kissed her. Each time, we chose not to. Now she folds her jeans and I question the value of foresight, of self-knowledge. What good are things that keep me from expressing myself?

This self-doubt will pass, this pointless regretting will be shred by the sound of a suitcase zipper. In a few hours, she will leave, and I'll go to a good-bye party, and deep in the night, I will return to my empty, deadline-free apartment, and stay up all night searching for something to do.

Comments

[themoocow.livejournal.com]

*wuffle*

I recommend drinking heavily. Alcohol makes everything better.... Or maybe that's just the alcoholism talking. ;)

I'd say it gets better, but I'm not convinced of that myself. As Tracy Lawrence noted in his recent hit, "But the truth is I really can't say.
If I'm gettin' better or just used to the pain."

[amul.livejournal.com]

But Lazarus only did it the one time
He couldn't face another try
- excerpt from Everything But the Girl - Downhill Racer

Full lyrics in separate post, because I'm being all angsty.

[amul.livejournal.com]

Any masochist can tell you, anticipation of pain is more intense than pain itself.

It was really good. Part of that good was just the goodness of having company for such an extended period of time, part was reconnecting with someone I thought I'd lost forever. Most of it, though, was the pure joy that is her company.