even weekends end
8 August 2005 11:04![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amulRoo is packing and it hurts to watch.
Four times this weekend, there was a moment when I could have kissed her. Each time, we chose not to. Now she folds her jeans and I question the value of foresight, of self-knowledge. What good are things that keep me from expressing myself?
This self-doubt will pass, this pointless regretting will be shred by the sound of a suitcase zipper. In a few hours, she will leave, and I'll go to a good-bye party, and deep in the night, I will return to my empty, deadline-free apartment, and stay up all night searching for something to do.
Four times this weekend, there was a moment when I could have kissed her. Each time, we chose not to. Now she folds her jeans and I question the value of foresight, of self-knowledge. What good are things that keep me from expressing myself?
This self-doubt will pass, this pointless regretting will be shred by the sound of a suitcase zipper. In a few hours, she will leave, and I'll go to a good-bye party, and deep in the night, I will return to my empty, deadline-free apartment, and stay up all night searching for something to do.
no subject
Date: 8 Aug 2005 21:37 (UTC)It was really good. Part of that good was just the goodness of having company for such an extended period of time, part was reconnecting with someone I thought I'd lost forever. Most of it, though, was the pure joy that is her company.