There it is again.
28 August 2006 17:54![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amulThere's a sentence in an email in my inbox, and it's an offhand question, just a guy I'm talking to about a completely different thing and it's his business to ask these questions so he asks me and there it is again.
That choice. That question. My parents' values or my own? Stability or freedom? Art or programming?
It's a fork in the road, only that's a bad metaphor. It's a strangely familiar beast that has stepped onto the path next to me, and it's walking beside me and asking me if I would like a lift? It would pick me up and carry me along with it, but it is not going to the place I am looking for.
And this creature turns it's eyes to me as we talk of other things and asks, "What's so great about the place you are going, anyway?" And, because I am mentally preparing myself to talk to my parents, I do not have a ready answer.
We're sharing this next stretch of road. He does not need an answer now, but it is here, it is an option that I stopped considering, and it has found it's way next to me again, and reminds me I was once your greatest dream. Do you still desire me at all?
And I do. Some part of me still wants it. It is not in my nature to let go.
That choice. That question. My parents' values or my own? Stability or freedom? Art or programming?
It's a fork in the road, only that's a bad metaphor. It's a strangely familiar beast that has stepped onto the path next to me, and it's walking beside me and asking me if I would like a lift? It would pick me up and carry me along with it, but it is not going to the place I am looking for.
And this creature turns it's eyes to me as we talk of other things and asks, "What's so great about the place you are going, anyway?" And, because I am mentally preparing myself to talk to my parents, I do not have a ready answer.
We're sharing this next stretch of road. He does not need an answer now, but it is here, it is an option that I stopped considering, and it has found it's way next to me again, and reminds me I was once your greatest dream. Do you still desire me at all?
And I do. Some part of me still wants it. It is not in my nature to let go.