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amulMaybe I'm just projecting, but given all the posts about how intensely hung over all the ChiTribers are from the Monolith/Adam-X concert last night, it seems clear to me that I'm not the only one who is out of practice when it comes to clubbing.
I need to correct this problem, and soon, or I'll be completely out of shape for the marathon drinking events that are Origins and GenCon.
And while I may give![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
salamandreona a hard time, I have to say that she is a damn enjoyable woman for a single guy to go club-hopping with. That is absolutely the first time a girl has ever given me her phone number without me so much as asking. A truly excellent piece of positive reinforcement.
I did notice that I spent most of the night avoiding my closest friends, carefully maintaining a minimum distance from them, most likely unnoticeable to anyone outside my head. Occasionally, I would leap at them with an inside joke, or a quick flurry of questions and then I dance away. Where does this strange hesitation come from? When did I become so shy?
Worse still, when did I get so good at hiding my shyness by being such a loud, obnoxious drunkard?
Also, it seems that my idea last summer to try to introduce & integrate the disparate social groups I am a part of is slowly coming to fruition, while seeming to remain more splintered than ever. Blue Beard hangs out with Veggie Tail and Unpaintable Canvas (UC has even started to show signs of understanding and embracing tribehood with them). BB has hung out a few times with the ChiTribers. Later this weekend, I'm going to take another tenuous step by growing the first tendril of Milwaukee/Chicago cross-association.
It's weird to me to think about how naturally I fell into the habit of keeping my friends in their neat little pockets. I think Deedi Dearest still hasn't met any of the ChiTribe. Angel and Thorn Chain didn't meet until two years ago. I used to think of all my friendships as precious secrets, and always worried that it wouldn't be safe to introduce the half of me that Angel loves to the half that anybody else ever saw.
Yes, they were Precious to me. Keep it secret, keep it safe.
It is time, has been time, to tear down all these walls inside myself. To stop thinking that having one set of friends I can be emotionally open with, and another that I'm socially active with, was ever a good idea.
The truth is I'm nervous. I'm so used to keeping up these pointless barriers that I am really afraid of what will happen when I let them down. I need to focus on how incredibly excellent it was when I finally worked up the nerve to introduce A and TC. The whole reason I asked Comfortingly Bouncy was because of her inherent ability to make friends. She is good at it, will be good at it up in Milwaukee and I don't need to worry.
Truth be told, I'm not even sure what I'm worried about.
I need to correct this problem, and soon, or I'll be completely out of shape for the marathon drinking events that are Origins and GenCon.
And while I may give
salamandreona a hard time, I have to say that she is a damn enjoyable woman for a single guy to go club-hopping with. That is absolutely the first time a girl has ever given me her phone number without me so much as asking. A truly excellent piece of positive reinforcement.I did notice that I spent most of the night avoiding my closest friends, carefully maintaining a minimum distance from them, most likely unnoticeable to anyone outside my head. Occasionally, I would leap at them with an inside joke, or a quick flurry of questions and then I dance away. Where does this strange hesitation come from? When did I become so shy?
Worse still, when did I get so good at hiding my shyness by being such a loud, obnoxious drunkard?
Also, it seems that my idea last summer to try to introduce & integrate the disparate social groups I am a part of is slowly coming to fruition, while seeming to remain more splintered than ever. Blue Beard hangs out with Veggie Tail and Unpaintable Canvas (UC has even started to show signs of understanding and embracing tribehood with them). BB has hung out a few times with the ChiTribers. Later this weekend, I'm going to take another tenuous step by growing the first tendril of Milwaukee/Chicago cross-association.
It's weird to me to think about how naturally I fell into the habit of keeping my friends in their neat little pockets. I think Deedi Dearest still hasn't met any of the ChiTribe. Angel and Thorn Chain didn't meet until two years ago. I used to think of all my friendships as precious secrets, and always worried that it wouldn't be safe to introduce the half of me that Angel loves to the half that anybody else ever saw.
Yes, they were Precious to me. Keep it secret, keep it safe.
It is time, has been time, to tear down all these walls inside myself. To stop thinking that having one set of friends I can be emotionally open with, and another that I'm socially active with, was ever a good idea.
The truth is I'm nervous. I'm so used to keeping up these pointless barriers that I am really afraid of what will happen when I let them down. I need to focus on how incredibly excellent it was when I finally worked up the nerve to introduce A and TC. The whole reason I asked Comfortingly Bouncy was because of her inherent ability to make friends. She is good at it, will be good at it up in Milwaukee and I don't need to worry.
Truth be told, I'm not even sure what I'm worried about.
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no subject
Date: 5 Dec 2005 00:11 (UTC)Is this a joke? *smirk*
no subject
Date: 5 Dec 2005 22:41 (UTC)No! Maybe.
Dammit.
I'm also beginning to wonder if my If I were still dating you, I'd beat you upside the head for that comment and you'd like it, comments are perhaps becoming overused and generally uncool.
no subject
Date: 6 Dec 2005 21:35 (UTC)no subject
Date: 6 Dec 2005 21:52 (UTC)