garam masala chai (or, "I'm almost 30, fer crying out loud!")

[amul]

(it's two distinctly different flavors of Hinduism, and they don't go well together)

I have noticed a recent increase in my use of this phrase, or ones similar: You know, I'm turning 30 next month, and....(whine, whine, whine)

My parents appeared today to take me suit shopping for the [Big Scary Thing] next week. I don't need a new suit, but apparently there was a good sale going on. It was, indeed, an excellent sale, but I was unable to find anything because my mom was either constantly forcing me to try on ugly suits, or if I found one I liked, mom would demand we get Brother Dearest's opinion. I kept wanting to say, You know, I'm turning 30 next month, shouldn't I be allowed to dress myself yet?

Afterward, we went for tea on Devon St. My parents told me about the engagement party I had missed yesterday. "Raavi has a lot of friends," mother told me. "There must have been 30 or 40 kids their your age. Boys AND girls." She gave me a knowing wink.

Yes, well, it would have been the same for me in Pittsburgh, you know. I have a lot of friends there.

"Only Americans," she sniffed contemptuously.

(interior monologue: You know, I'm almost thirty! Do I really have to listen to you judge my choice of friends?) At this point, dear readers, I have to confess I quite lost my head. A plan, the likes of which I haven't tried since I lived under their roof, hatched in my head, and stupidly I put it in motion. You see, last night I spent a good portion of the evening talking to Wicked Kitten, and we'd been laughing over a girl at Neo who'd thought WK was Indian.

Oh, I almost forgot, one of my friends may be coming to the [Big Scary Thing], trying to appear nonchalant. She's Indian.

Vishnu preserve me, what have I done? I just LIED about the ethnicity of one of my friends to shut my parents up! Dear WK, please forgive me, I really have no idea what came over me.

But seriously! I mean, I'm almost 30, fer crying out loud!

(whine, whine, whine, ad infinitam)



Editor's note: When reading this, please replace all occurrences of [Big Scary Thing] with a mental image of a giant, furry monster of indescribable frightfulness leaping out from behind your monitor and roaring at you, thus distracting you from the word that actually goes in that spot.

Comments

[writer00.livejournal.com]

Ok. Knowing the big milestone I reached last November, I'm trying like the dickins to feel sympathy. (What does the dickens mean anyway? I mean, where does the phrase come from?)

So, are you and WK going to have a cultural cramming session before the [Big Scary Thing]? Will she get the third degree?

Here's a crazy hypothetical. Of the two scenarios, which one would your parents prefer?

1. You bringing home a true blue American girl and introducing her as your intended?
or
2. You bringing home an Indian man and introducing him as your intended?

I have a feeling there would be a few people in my family who would prefer Jude bring home an American boy than an African-American girl. *sigh*

[amul.livejournal.com]

Whoa! Hey there, hang on a second. I never implied (either here on LJ or to my parents) that I was dating ANYBODY. I just pretended she was Indian. Luckily, it turns out she's not coming, so it's a little moot.

My parents would never out-and-out say they disapproved of anything. That's part of the problem. Of the two choices, I imagine my mother would be slightly more comfortable with me bringing a white girl home. I mean, I already did that once. She's used to that kind of disappointment.

But this isn't about dating, this is about socializing. Well, mostly. Mothers have a funny way of tying everything into one big disappointment - I mean, how am I going to meet a nice Indian girl if I don't hang out with any? What it feels like, is that my mother isn't going to be happy until I stop socializing with All You White People entirely, and only hang out with Indians, only do Indian things, and only watch Indian movies.

How much of that is true and how much in my own head is anyone's guess. Right now, I'm just trying to be thankful that I've reached the point where I'm distinguishing between each parent's motives, stopped talking about what My Parents think and started viewing them as individual people. It's a start, right? Right? Right?!

[writer00.livejournal.com]

Right! Right!