Ganesha versus Cthulhu
18 July 2010 02:07![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amulBoth Ganesha and Cthulhu are of deific stature, with a well-fed belly, and have prehensile appendages where a human would have a nose. Thus, it may seem easy to confuse the two. Should you meet a god on the street, and cannot tell if it is Cthulhu or Ganesha, here is a helpful guide:
How many arms does he have?
If he has 2 arms and wings, it is Cthulhu.
If he has 4 arms and NO wings, it is Ganesha.
What does he have instead of a nose?
If he has a mass of squid-like tentacles, it is Cthulhu.
If he has an elephant trunk, it's Ganesha.
What's that in his mouth?
If he is devouring human souls, it is Cthulhu.
If he's eating sweets, then it is most likely Ganesha.
What is everybody else doing?
If they are on their knees, gibbering incoherently and gouging their eyes out, while engaged in a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom, then it is Cthulhu.
If they are dancing, singing and eating sweets while talking about how trivial all of their life's obstacles suddenly seem, then it is Ganesha.
What should I do when I see Him?
If it is Cthulhu, then your own sanity has already been shattered by the sight of Things Not Meant For Man To Know, and there is little left to do besides gouge out your own eyes and choke on your tongue. This will provide a merciful release from the sight of Horrors From Beyond The Stars for your by-now overtaxed mind.
If it is Ganesha, then you should press your palms together before your chest, fingers pointed skyward, and cry "Om Shri Ganeshaya Namah!"* and offer to share any food, toys or entertainment, both with Ganesha and those around you. If propitiated, Ganesha grants success, prosperity, and protection from adversity.
*Roughly translated, this means "Holy Good God! It's the ninth incarnation of Ganesha, walking down the street just like he was plain folks! He's super cool!"
I hope this has been helpful.
How many arms does he have?
If he has 2 arms and wings, it is Cthulhu.
If he has 4 arms and NO wings, it is Ganesha.
What does he have instead of a nose?
If he has a mass of squid-like tentacles, it is Cthulhu.
If he has an elephant trunk, it's Ganesha.
What's that in his mouth?
If he is devouring human souls, it is Cthulhu.
If he's eating sweets, then it is most likely Ganesha.
What is everybody else doing?
If they are on their knees, gibbering incoherently and gouging their eyes out, while engaged in a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom, then it is Cthulhu.
If they are dancing, singing and eating sweets while talking about how trivial all of their life's obstacles suddenly seem, then it is Ganesha.
What should I do when I see Him?
If it is Cthulhu, then your own sanity has already been shattered by the sight of Things Not Meant For Man To Know, and there is little left to do besides gouge out your own eyes and choke on your tongue. This will provide a merciful release from the sight of Horrors From Beyond The Stars for your by-now overtaxed mind.
If it is Ganesha, then you should press your palms together before your chest, fingers pointed skyward, and cry "Om Shri Ganeshaya Namah!"* and offer to share any food, toys or entertainment, both with Ganesha and those around you. If propitiated, Ganesha grants success, prosperity, and protection from adversity.
*Roughly translated, this means "Holy Good God! It's the ninth incarnation of Ganesha, walking down the street just like he was plain folks! He's super cool!"
I hope this has been helpful.
