Meat Futurity, Part 2

[amul]

Another topic which has been disturbing me is the seeming lack of progress in my career as a photographer. I feel stalled out, frustrated. A lot of people have told me that I should expect the first 2-3 years to be unfruitful, and I'm trying really hard to avoid looking at the dollar signs in this switch, but it's hard to identify other milestones to judge by, and every conversation I have with my family brings an unreasonable expectation of income to the forefront.

This is something Brian has been really good for. He's far enough away from my daily grind that he can point out progress made, indicators of skill and dedication, and he readily enjoys doing so. But still, I feel like I'm no closer to having a successful studio of my own, and attempts to identify what I need to get there, what defines "success" at this stage, only leave me frustrated, frightened, and procrastinating in all areas of my life.

My apartment is littered with magazines and books all claiming to help advance my skills and business habits. But I have no real business to practice on, and I feel that the skills they advise on are ones I've already sufficiently developed. Whenever I think about these things, my solution is to Work On My Web Site.

Will I really feel like more of an artist, a photographer, if I implement a webstore on my site? Will posting a substantial portfolio of art pieces really make me feel more confident when approaching other photographers for assisting jobs?

Will a new color scheme, font selection, and site map really make up for my freudian inadequacies? (j/k)

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I need to get back to my preparations for the ACE exam. It's a clearly defined list of things I need to practice, and it will lead to access to forums populated by those already versed in these topics.

I need to start networking with professional photographers and make myself available to them for assisting and digital retouching.

I need to go out and explore the city on my own. I need to bring my camera with me and practice street photography.

I need to start exercising again, stop smoking, and return to Arnis practice.

I need to stop judging myself by the standards of a work environment that I am not a part of. It's 5:15pm, and I feel like the whole day has been wasted, that I've done nothing. The truth is that I've been awake for three hours, so in my version of Nine To Five, it's only 10am. From that perspective, I've accomplished a lot.

I need to find a balance between work and play.

Comments

i need to call you

[indienoir.livejournal.com]

i feel what you're saying... sooo should talk to you soon.

Re: i need to call you

[amul.livejournal.com]

Then CALL me, dammit. Just not this weekend. This weekend is GenCon. I will be drunk.