Fly Away, Bird

[amul]

Fly away bird, fly a long way home
I'm glad to see you happy but I'm sad to be alone

Just picked up Prefers Sacrifice from the airport, after she spent the weekend visiting her new love. It was a litmus test, and now she is resolved to move to Athens in August.

I couldn't bring myself to ask if she meant the beginning or the end of the month.

We've become amazing friends since she came back from her photo safari, and she tells me I'm the first guy she's ever been comfortable letting touch her. She tells me this as she climbs up my back, as she tickles me, as she reaches for my hand. She calls me to let me know she's been thinking of me, and her girlfriend is dying to meet me because of all the things PS has said about me. Without her, I would never have believed in myself enough to offer (f)AD the help I've given.

She told me that one of the reasons she picked the apartment she just moved to was to be closer to me.

Back at Frolic Con, I remember her telling someone, "Oh, Amul? He's my best friend." Who, me? I asked, shocked, gratified, overwhelmed.

She's....she's been there for me like no other friend I've ever had. I want to be happy for her, I am happy for her, but I'm also boiling over with this profound sense of loss. I'm on the verge of tears. The cynic in me whispers reminders of all the times when distance has pulled apart a well-loved friendship.

In the car, she told me, "When I left, I realized I wasn't going home. Home isn't Chicago anymore, home can only be wherever she is."

I reached over and squeezed her hand, and tried to think of something to say that wasn't completely selfish.

Comments

[rosetiger.livejournal.com]

I just sent a card to someone I consider a very close friend who all the sudden, up and moved to Florida. I know WHY she moved, and I know that it was/is a very good thing for her, but I miss her and I need her. Does that make me selfish for wanting her back here?

I sent her a card yesterday that says:

(outside) "Sometimes you need to be where you need to be."
(inside) "I just which that you were closer to me"

Our friendship is going to change, distance always changes things. That doesn't mean I will love her any less.

[ladydagger2evil.livejournal.com]

Wow so she really is moving?
That's kinda a small bummer cause I was hoping to get to know her more when and if I relocated up there.
But at the same time I am happy for her and aplaud her for following her heart.
I have been in her place many times.
I've just gotten more cautious about how quick I take off or move, and the why's as I've gotten older.
But still she in so many ways reminds me of me at her age (Goddess I don't mean for it to sound like I'm soo old or anything) Just how she is about life reminds me of me back then in allot of ways.
It's a good thing.

And what Rosetiger said above is simalar to what I was gonna say as well.

And what you are feeling is natural, don't deny those feelings, let them surface and acknowlledge them.
And know that though there will be great distance, you will still be in contact, still have your past memories, and the future will bring more again, just maybe not as frequent.
I've been struggling with that for years.
One of my best friends in the whole world (the one I refer to as my wife in my entries) who has been in my life going on 9 years. She lives a state away, and I barely get to see her now maybe twice a year, talk on the phone depending on out schedules maybe 1-3 times a month sometimes less.
But doesn't mean the friendship has suffered, actualy over time we became less co-dependent on each other, and it's made our friendship stronger, and the times we do get to see each other it feels like we never were apart or missed a beat and feels even more special when we get those times, if thast makes sense?
There are very few I can say that about.
But those precious friendships I do have still are ones who've last through time and distance, and people come back to each other in certain point of there lives when it's meant.

She was meant at a time, and doesn't mean she still won't be or has an effect on your life regardless of distance.
But I know the feeling of feeling loss when someone close to you won't be so close anymore.
Right now I feel that in so many ways since I moved away from Atlanta, and am in a place where I really don't know anyone or the familars, or have the same kind of closeness I had with a few people so near. It's been rouugh some days. But I also know that they have their lives and I have mine. And am doing what I need to do to find my happiness and make my life better away for awhile, and this has always been the way for me, and will be again when I relocate out of the South by years end, which hasn't been like that in 5 years. But we all come back together when it's meant and I don't loose tottal touch. Even though some of the friendships have faded.
But I don't think you guys will have that problem too much.

Anyway gone on long enough, and proubly didn't express really I wanted to in this comment. I have kid distractions today, but wanted to say I feel you for what it's worth.

Anyway I also wanted to see what everyones/ your schedule of sorts looks like for mid July, so I can work on pinning a date to fly down. Make sure there's no conflict, and if everyone is cool with me coming up for a few days?

[maichen.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Doesn't mean that you can't stay close.