Fly Away, Bird

[amul]

Fly away bird, fly a long way home
I'm glad to see you happy but I'm sad to be alone

Just picked up Prefers Sacrifice from the airport, after she spent the weekend visiting her new love. It was a litmus test, and now she is resolved to move to Athens in August.

I couldn't bring myself to ask if she meant the beginning or the end of the month.

We've become amazing friends since she came back from her photo safari, and she tells me I'm the first guy she's ever been comfortable letting touch her. She tells me this as she climbs up my back, as she tickles me, as she reaches for my hand. She calls me to let me know she's been thinking of me, and her girlfriend is dying to meet me because of all the things PS has said about me. Without her, I would never have believed in myself enough to offer (f)AD the help I've given.

She told me that one of the reasons she picked the apartment she just moved to was to be closer to me.

Back at Frolic Con, I remember her telling someone, "Oh, Amul? He's my best friend." Who, me? I asked, shocked, gratified, overwhelmed.

She's....she's been there for me like no other friend I've ever had. I want to be happy for her, I am happy for her, but I'm also boiling over with this profound sense of loss. I'm on the verge of tears. The cynic in me whispers reminders of all the times when distance has pulled apart a well-loved friendship.

In the car, she told me, "When I left, I realized I wasn't going home. Home isn't Chicago anymore, home can only be wherever she is."

I reached over and squeezed her hand, and tried to think of something to say that wasn't completely selfish.

Comments

[maichen.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Doesn't mean that you can't stay close.