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Spaces that were once safe

I found out the other day that someone I thought was a friend has been propagating a reputation I haven't deserved for nearly two years now.

I feel like I should be old enough, wise enough, cynical enough to shrug my shoulders and remind myself that reputations are hard to move past.

Instead, I feel myself scapegoating all the anger and betrayal I feel in other parts of my life, redirecting all my impotent negative energy at this person, if only because I could handle losing his friendship, if only because it is a source of pain that I could terminate quickly, easily.

Seriously, dude? It's been two years since I did shit like that!