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If you've ever longed to come across as a completely racist idiot, here's a useful example from tonight.
First, be sure to begin your conversation by asking which ethnic background your conversational partner is. It is particularly helpful to offer a list of choices, especially if they are all wrong. For example, "So, are you Arabic or Pakastani? Or are you Greek?"
Be sure to explain that you are not asking this question because you are a racist.
Go on to list any friends you may have that are not white. Bonus points if these "friends" are actually only characters you've seen on TV.
Even more bonus points if, when at a conversational lull, you try to discuss how funny the non-white friends you have from those televisions shows are.
Discuss non-Causcasian people from the news whom your conversational partner looks like. If this tactics does not seem to be encouraging responses in the person you're talking to, go on to discuss people from the news whom you have never even seen pictures of, who may look like the person you're talking to (since they are also not white, and you've heard of them, but don't know what they look like, so they might look similar).
Playfully suggest that the cigarettes he's reaching for may be a bomb. Be sure to do this in earshot of the bouncers.
If you're feeling flirtatious, offer lewd sexual favors, provided he buys you a drink and not bomb your house. Be sure to laugh and remind him you're not a racist. This would be an excellent time to remind him of that character from "Lost" that you like.
Frequently get excited about how cool it is that he is not white, and yet capable of having a conversation with you about interesting things (like how not-white he is).
Introduce him to people you don't know and have never met before. Be sure to mention his genetic background while getting his name wrong. Explain how cool it is to be able to talk to him, and be sure to compliment his English-speaking abilities.
If you're not sure you've successfully exposed yourself as a complete git, ask him to sleep with you because it would piss off your racist ex-boyfriend.
First, be sure to begin your conversation by asking which ethnic background your conversational partner is. It is particularly helpful to offer a list of choices, especially if they are all wrong. For example, "So, are you Arabic or Pakastani? Or are you Greek?"
Be sure to explain that you are not asking this question because you are a racist.
Go on to list any friends you may have that are not white. Bonus points if these "friends" are actually only characters you've seen on TV.
Even more bonus points if, when at a conversational lull, you try to discuss how funny the non-white friends you have from those televisions shows are.
Discuss non-Causcasian people from the news whom your conversational partner looks like. If this tactics does not seem to be encouraging responses in the person you're talking to, go on to discuss people from the news whom you have never even seen pictures of, who may look like the person you're talking to (since they are also not white, and you've heard of them, but don't know what they look like, so they might look similar).
Playfully suggest that the cigarettes he's reaching for may be a bomb. Be sure to do this in earshot of the bouncers.
If you're feeling flirtatious, offer lewd sexual favors, provided he buys you a drink and not bomb your house. Be sure to laugh and remind him you're not a racist. This would be an excellent time to remind him of that character from "Lost" that you like.
Frequently get excited about how cool it is that he is not white, and yet capable of having a conversation with you about interesting things (like how not-white he is).
Introduce him to people you don't know and have never met before. Be sure to mention his genetic background while getting his name wrong. Explain how cool it is to be able to talk to him, and be sure to compliment his English-speaking abilities.
If you're not sure you've successfully exposed yourself as a complete git, ask him to sleep with you because it would piss off your racist ex-boyfriend.