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amulThere's just so much to do! I sniffled, barely able to breathe through my angst-stuffed nose.
"You know how to eat an elephant?" she asks me.
One bite at a time? Ha. It's a bitter, choked laugh. You want to hear another story about eating an elephant?
Jackal found an elephant lying dead in the forest, a huntsman's arrow in its leg. "Wow, what a find," thought Jackal. "This'll keep me fed for months!"
Jackal tore off a large chunk and sated his immediate hunger, then prepared to take a post-meal nap. Just one piece, because the elephant was still far too fresh for his tastes. Only, as he began to close his eyes, he saw a mouse on the other side of his elephant.
Jackal leaped between the mouse and his prize. "Back off, Mouse! My elephant!"
As the mouse scampered away in terror, Jackal climbed to the top of the elephant and lay down once more for his post-meal nap. Just as he began to drowse, a crow landed on the trunk of the elephant and tried to peck out the dead animal's eyes.
Again, Jackal leapt to the defense of his prize, scaring the crow away.
The afternoon sun was setting, and Jackal saw many hungry eyes looming at the edge of the dark.
"Fuck me, those gorram predators want to eat my elephant!" thought Jackal. "They'll wait until I'm asleep and take it from me. I'd better eat it all now."
Jackal began to eat, and eat and eat. He soon grew full, but night was coming, and so he kept eating. He grew tired and lethargic from all the food. His stomach distended with the weight of it all, but he kept eating. As he tore off more meat from near the arrow, the meat tasted funny to him, but he ignored it and kept eating....
Until his stomach began to cramp, and he realized that the arrow had been poisoned.
[Note: This is a pretty badly abused version of the story, actually. He'd never be called Jackal, since that is an animist thing. More likely, in the Hindu tradition, he'd be called Greedy The Jackal or something. Likewise, each of the other animals in the story would have their own names, and there are stories about them which include getting scared off by the Jackal, in the middle of their own adventures. But my long association with pagan, Native American and Chinese mythology has corrupted these parts of my memory thoroughly. And, of course, no children's story character would ever say "Fuck me."]
"You know how to eat an elephant?" she asks me.
One bite at a time? Ha. It's a bitter, choked laugh. You want to hear another story about eating an elephant?
Jackal found an elephant lying dead in the forest, a huntsman's arrow in its leg. "Wow, what a find," thought Jackal. "This'll keep me fed for months!"
Jackal tore off a large chunk and sated his immediate hunger, then prepared to take a post-meal nap. Just one piece, because the elephant was still far too fresh for his tastes. Only, as he began to close his eyes, he saw a mouse on the other side of his elephant.
Jackal leaped between the mouse and his prize. "Back off, Mouse! My elephant!"
As the mouse scampered away in terror, Jackal climbed to the top of the elephant and lay down once more for his post-meal nap. Just as he began to drowse, a crow landed on the trunk of the elephant and tried to peck out the dead animal's eyes.
Again, Jackal leapt to the defense of his prize, scaring the crow away.
The afternoon sun was setting, and Jackal saw many hungry eyes looming at the edge of the dark.
"Fuck me, those gorram predators want to eat my elephant!" thought Jackal. "They'll wait until I'm asleep and take it from me. I'd better eat it all now."
Jackal began to eat, and eat and eat. He soon grew full, but night was coming, and so he kept eating. He grew tired and lethargic from all the food. His stomach distended with the weight of it all, but he kept eating. As he tore off more meat from near the arrow, the meat tasted funny to him, but he ignored it and kept eating....
Until his stomach began to cramp, and he realized that the arrow had been poisoned.
[Note: This is a pretty badly abused version of the story, actually. He'd never be called Jackal, since that is an animist thing. More likely, in the Hindu tradition, he'd be called Greedy The Jackal or something. Likewise, each of the other animals in the story would have their own names, and there are stories about them which include getting scared off by the Jackal, in the middle of their own adventures. But my long association with pagan, Native American and Chinese mythology has corrupted these parts of my memory thoroughly. And, of course, no children's story character would ever say "Fuck me."]
