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amulTimid ghost at the El tracks
She does not mind the gap
between us
****
Class took a field trip to the MCA, to check out the Dan Flavin: A Retrospective exhibit.
Flavin's works consist of fluorescent tubes arranged in stark geometric patterns. Half of the piece is the title, which is usually Untitled (something prosaic). For example, Untitled (to Jan and Ron Greensberg) and Monument 4 for those who have been killed in ambush (to PK, who reminded me about death).
It's hard not to compare Flavin to James Turrell, with his monumental Roden Crater project and other, nigh-epic works of art. Granted, we can't ALL be James Turrell (although, gods, what a world we'd live in if even the least of us had half his vision and humility), and there's a certain Art Deco, minimalist quality to Flavin's works that I find appealing.
I think we could all use a little more Deco in our lives.
*****
I spoke with Roo again last night. It's strange, the barrier between us now. I can recall, with a perfect clarity I gained only after hearing her voice, exactly how free she used to be around me, how easy it once was for her to talk to me.
I've always had a thing for shy women. Getting to know them is like unwrapping a present. The problem is, you might want to return the gift once you get underneath all the protective wrapping and see what's inside.
Roo, though, was a gift I cherished every minute I spent with her. I could see the ease which she slowly accumulated around me, and that in itself was breathe-taking and heart-stopping. Now, we're no longer there. She stumbles as she tries to express herself, hesitates to talk about her feelings and it's difficult to see who she is now through the combination of uneven footing we're both on and the distorting fog of knowing who she once was. Having walked the long path to deep within her comfort zone, and learning of the graceful dance with life going on within those confines, I quickly forgot that she's actually unbearably shy.
It's so strange to think that it was two years ago that we dated. A lot of that has to do with the way Ziggy made all of life seem like one gloriously long summer day, and of course all the confusion between dates and emotional contexts. I was still with Christine, and deep in the fight to save our relationship when Roo entered the picture, and though Roo & I were only together for a few months, my overwhelming desire to get her back lasted past the dissolution of my marriage and into my relationship with Z.
It's the polygamy, really, that makes it so hard to concieve of Two Years Ago. Especially since both my relationship with Roo and with Z was so much about trying to become monogamous.
At any rate, things between us are relatively comfortable, and I am thoroughly more at ease about the idea of her visiting me. She'll be here for the weekend of August 6th. I've already overplanned the entire thing. Too many things I want to share with her in this city I love so much. How can I possibly fit them all into one weekend?
It also occurs to me, as I write this, that there's no way to get her to meet my new Tribe. It'll simply overwhelm her, all those strangers.
She does not mind the gap
between us
****
Class took a field trip to the MCA, to check out the Dan Flavin: A Retrospective exhibit.
Flavin's works consist of fluorescent tubes arranged in stark geometric patterns. Half of the piece is the title, which is usually Untitled (something prosaic). For example, Untitled (to Jan and Ron Greensberg) and Monument 4 for those who have been killed in ambush (to PK, who reminded me about death).
It's hard not to compare Flavin to James Turrell, with his monumental Roden Crater project and other, nigh-epic works of art. Granted, we can't ALL be James Turrell (although, gods, what a world we'd live in if even the least of us had half his vision and humility), and there's a certain Art Deco, minimalist quality to Flavin's works that I find appealing.
I think we could all use a little more Deco in our lives.
*****
I spoke with Roo again last night. It's strange, the barrier between us now. I can recall, with a perfect clarity I gained only after hearing her voice, exactly how free she used to be around me, how easy it once was for her to talk to me.
I've always had a thing for shy women. Getting to know them is like unwrapping a present. The problem is, you might want to return the gift once you get underneath all the protective wrapping and see what's inside.
Roo, though, was a gift I cherished every minute I spent with her. I could see the ease which she slowly accumulated around me, and that in itself was breathe-taking and heart-stopping. Now, we're no longer there. She stumbles as she tries to express herself, hesitates to talk about her feelings and it's difficult to see who she is now through the combination of uneven footing we're both on and the distorting fog of knowing who she once was. Having walked the long path to deep within her comfort zone, and learning of the graceful dance with life going on within those confines, I quickly forgot that she's actually unbearably shy.
It's so strange to think that it was two years ago that we dated. A lot of that has to do with the way Ziggy made all of life seem like one gloriously long summer day, and of course all the confusion between dates and emotional contexts. I was still with Christine, and deep in the fight to save our relationship when Roo entered the picture, and though Roo & I were only together for a few months, my overwhelming desire to get her back lasted past the dissolution of my marriage and into my relationship with Z.
It's the polygamy, really, that makes it so hard to concieve of Two Years Ago. Especially since both my relationship with Roo and with Z was so much about trying to become monogamous.
At any rate, things between us are relatively comfortable, and I am thoroughly more at ease about the idea of her visiting me. She'll be here for the weekend of August 6th. I've already overplanned the entire thing. Too many things I want to share with her in this city I love so much. How can I possibly fit them all into one weekend?
It also occurs to me, as I write this, that there's no way to get her to meet my new Tribe. It'll simply overwhelm her, all those strangers.
