Idiocy
I'm pretty comfortable with the concept of a gossip-mill. My mother is constantly worried about What Other People Think, and it rubbed off on me as a kid, but I eventually learned to just accept that people will think whatever they want to think, and there's little that I can do to change their mind.
So when a girl I'm on a date with tells me that she's heard I'm "a bit of a player, just looking to get my dick wet," as happened last year, I just throw my hands up in the air and tell her that while I object to the conclusion, I can't really deny the statistics behind it.
When people accuse me of being unprofessional with my models, I've learned to ignore the implied insult, and treat the accusation as a valid concern from people who don't know me any better. I talk to them seriously about where I stand on that, and why, I list off the occasions when I've strayed from my usual standards, and what made those special circumstances to me. It is hard, but I try not to think too much about all the people who hear these things and believe them without actually investigating the rumor, and tell myself that I'm better off not working with them anyway.
And when people tell me they've heard someone badmouth me about stuff I stopped doing over a year ago, I just shrug and accept that it takes time for people to notice changes.
But when someone accuses me of acting in a way that directly contradicts a moral code I not only adhere strictly to, but actively advocate....well, I still get angry. I'm secure enough in my beliefs and my adherence to them that I no longer fret about how someone might have developed that impression. No, I get angry, and assume maliciousness and petty politicking.
I find it ironic that I can draw parallels to some douchebag's blatantly false accusations about my safer sex practices, and the petty in-fighting that plagued my childhood religious organization.
Ironic, and infuriating, and insulting. I grew out of that bullshit. Why haven't you?
So when a girl I'm on a date with tells me that she's heard I'm "a bit of a player, just looking to get my dick wet," as happened last year, I just throw my hands up in the air and tell her that while I object to the conclusion, I can't really deny the statistics behind it.
When people accuse me of being unprofessional with my models, I've learned to ignore the implied insult, and treat the accusation as a valid concern from people who don't know me any better. I talk to them seriously about where I stand on that, and why, I list off the occasions when I've strayed from my usual standards, and what made those special circumstances to me. It is hard, but I try not to think too much about all the people who hear these things and believe them without actually investigating the rumor, and tell myself that I'm better off not working with them anyway.
And when people tell me they've heard someone badmouth me about stuff I stopped doing over a year ago, I just shrug and accept that it takes time for people to notice changes.
But when someone accuses me of acting in a way that directly contradicts a moral code I not only adhere strictly to, but actively advocate....well, I still get angry. I'm secure enough in my beliefs and my adherence to them that I no longer fret about how someone might have developed that impression. No, I get angry, and assume maliciousness and petty politicking.
I find it ironic that I can draw parallels to some douchebag's blatantly false accusations about my safer sex practices, and the petty in-fighting that plagued my childhood religious organization.
Ironic, and infuriating, and insulting. I grew out of that bullshit. Why haven't you?
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